My last blog post was written nearly eleven months ago, and I want to be completely raw with you all here. In those eleven months, I have gone from thinking I had a grasp on God and his plan and his grace, to nearly losing faith completely, falling out of church, and downward spiraling into the hole of thinking I'm not good enough and am selfish and am worth nothing more than the things I can do for MYSELF and MY life.
Last weekend I attended Motion Student Conference. It's an event orchestrated by Church of the Highlands, and this time last year, had I been invited to Motion, I probably would have turned down that invitation. I despised the idea of a mega church. I was nervous about the thought of thousands of people worshiping God together, and now I'm realizing that maybe it's because I thought in the back of my mind that if something gets that big and makes that much of an impact, are these people really even experiencing anything? Or are they just overwhelmed by the music and the noise and mistake it for the presence of God?
But I was the one mistaken. I thought I had it all figured out, that God's plan for me was to surely make a success of me, to give me everything I ever dreamed of just because I said, "Sure, God, I'll trust you." I had no idea of what it meant to blindly and completely walk in faith with Jesus. And I had no idea that God has a calling for each of us. But hear me out everyone: We are not designed to create our own personal successes and glorify our own personal lives. We are created, fearfully and wonderfully, to listen to our calling that is ALWAYS given to glorify God and impact his people.
Over the course of the weekend, the theme for everyone seemed to be realizing that calling. I watched thousands of students and a number of my close friends realize their calling to missions or ministry, and I thought, "What about me, God? Why don't I feel called to this?" I grew angry at myself because I thought that my selfish ambition and "shallow" passions were preventing me from seeing my true calling. Little did I know, my community group of nine completely different college students, the sermons from Christine Caine and Mark Pettus, and my devotion the following Sunday morning would flip my world upside down.
I had been thinking a lot about ministry. I love to speak to people. I love for people to hear what I have to say and to hear an "amen" every once in a while, but when I think about my talents and my dreams and my passions, I realize that they all seem to have a common theme: cultures that are most seldom reached out to.
The wealthy. Who thinks to reach out to and minister to the rich? To answer your question, not very many people. We so sorrily mistake the outer image of worldly success, wealth and influence for happiness and inner contentment, but when you look at the news and at the upper echelon of society, all you see is brokenness. Suicide, corruption, overdoses. So many of these people are absolutely lost because, according to our world, they have it all, but they still feel empty.
Those of different beliefs. Who actually has the boldness to try to tell a Hindu immigrant in Queens, New York that they believe the wrong thing? A question that has always crossed my mind is, "What happens to the people who devote themselves entirely to a different God and live good lives and are so diligent in their religious duties but never hear of Jesus? Who am I to tell them they're wrong?"
I've known I want to live in New York nearly my entire life. I went through phases of wanting to be a writer in New York, a journalist in New York, an artist in New York and now a fashion designer in New York. All different paths with the same geographic endpoint. This weekend I realized that New York is my mission field. With a career in the fashion industry, a culture so consumed by negativity and the materialistic world, I am able to reach so many people in the upper class. I am able to influence the influential. And to realize that my passions, my dreams and my desires are not in vain seems to be a miracle as big as the resurrection of Jesus Himself!
Hear me out. Our talents are not our own. Our days are not our own. Our successes are not our own. We are not our own, and OUR TALENTS ARE NOT IN VAIN.
The abilities God blesses each of us with are to do nothing more than better his kingdom. And for light to have finally shone on the thing I have been most searching for, a way to glorify God through a career in design, leaves me speechless.
The day after Motion, I was up at 5 am reading my daily devotion. And what do I know, the August 2nd devotion was centered on the creative people of the world. In the book of Exodus, God appoints numerous people to create for him. He blesses them specifically with knowledge, wisdom, creativity and artistic ability to create for his glory. Proverbs 31 speaks of a woman who selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. I realized that morning that my earlier selfish ambition led me to my mission field. The process of being future-obsessed, career-focused, and in love with the idea of the people of upper class New York glorifying me led me to my calling to make New York City my mission field.
A woman named Christine Caine spoke at the conference for one of the sessions, and I wish I could just write down the quotes of absolute wisdom that this woman embedded into the minds of eleven thousand students. She spoke of staying in the darkroom, letting God develop our hearts and transform us before we can be appointed for what he has already anointed us for. This weekend I witnessed THOUSANDS of young people write down their calling and vow to stand on it. I watched eleven thousand young people lift their hands in worship. I danced with eleven thousand young people to the joy and peace given by the love of Jesus.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. The Wednesday after Motion, Sarah and I attended the First Wednesday service at Church of the Highlands, and the speaker, John Maxwell, blew my mind once again. When he first started speaking, I sank into my chair, thinking, "Great, this guy's voice irritates me and I really don't want to listen to it for the next hour." But John, I came to learn, is an incredibly successful business man and leader in the secular world, and his entire message was centered around being intentional with our faith. He told his story of being a pastor for 25 years and realizing one day that he is called to reach the people who don't turn to church in the hard times because those who really need God don't seek God. He was called to minister to the secular business world, to people who run from God instead of to Him. About halfway through the sermon, Sarah leaned over and said, "You know this guy is basically speaking over your entire life, right?" And I was enthralled. I have no doubt in my mind that God had brought me to Highlands that night to reaffirm the calling on my heart that says I don't have to be a pastor or a missionary to minister to God's people. It was mind-blowing. John Maxwell is a highly admired business leader who people constantly seek the advice of, and he interests them to the point that they are begging to hear where he gets his secrets to success: the Bible and the love of Jesus. And who's to say that I can't do that in the fashion world?
There is more to this life than selfish ambition. There is more to this life than your career and glorifying your own successes. There is a peace that settles in us when we realize that "God has plucked us out of eternity, positioned us in time, and given us gifts and talents to serve him in this generation" (one of the many beautiful quotes by Christine). An arena full of thousands worshiping our Savior looked like the exact opposite of what I initially thought it would: it looked like a generation approaching a revival that can turn this world around for good. We are out to change things. We are out to love and to speak life into people everywhere from the poorest villages to the richest social classes. We have to realize that our callings take time, and that God must forge His heart in us so that we may be able to carry out our full potential in Him, but oh how wonderful we can be if we just stay in the darkroom for a little while.
Monday, August 10, 2015
Monday, September 22, 2014
My NAM Story (forewarning: embarrassing old pictures and lots of emotion)
As a sort of spin-off from my previous Miss America post and the fact that our newly crowned queen is a former National American Miss titleholder, I would like to tell my person NAM story.
I began as an anxious seven year old in 2004. Mom and I essentially had no idea what we were walking into, but after placing in top ten my first year and being in absolute awe of the state and national queens I met, I was hooked.
The next few years, I would repeatedly do my personal introduction as a daily ritual and practice like a good little pageant girl. I moved up to fourth runner up the next year and first runner up the next. Once I moved into the Preteen division as a ten year old, I made top ten as one of the youngest in my division (with my precious blonde boyfriend of the time in the audience--I felt like hot stuff, let me tell you).
The next three years, I competed for my state title in the Jr. Teen division, placing in top ten, second runner up, and then fourth runner up. As discouraging as it was to place lower that final year, I did not consider "retiring" because of that discouragement. I was approaching college preparation years and felt that I needed to focus my full attention on my future. And then, after considering myself "retired from pageantry" during that next year, the craziest thing that has ever happened to me occurred at the 2014 state pageant.
I originally went to help some younger girls who my mom and I had prepared (you would not believe how many girls we have gotten into NAM--we are walking billboards for the organization). The first night we arrived, mom leaned over to me and said, "So... why don't you just compete?" And so, long story short, we entered the next morning and had a friend bring down an old gown, interview dress and shoes, and I was all of a sudden out of retirement and back at it again! I wrote my introduction the night before, went over my walk that was basically muscle memory from so many times before, and on June 9, 2014, I was crowned the National American Miss Alabama Teen 2014.
I often wish I could relive that crowning moment on stage because the shock made it all such a blur. I have never felt so confident that God put me here with such strange circumstances I was crowned in. For nine years, I had worked for months in advance for that one summer weekend, and then I won with no stressful preparation and simply having fun and being myself .
Then, a few weeks later, I received a selfie from Victoria with her new Georgia Teen crown and sash! Victoria and I are now preparing to embark on NAM Nationals take two and cannot wait to reunite with the other third of our friendship when Tierra flies from New York to the national pageant as well. This, my friends, is what fate looks like.
I suppose I could say that a lot happened in my time of retirement in terms of self-discovery, but I know for a fact that National American Miss shaped me into the young woman I am today. I have learned the communication skills that undoubtedly gave me success in my Montevallo interview and now has me a free college education. I am in love with public speaking and take every chance I have to tell others my story and encourage them to take part in the amazing pageant system that changed my life for the better. Most importantly, I believe, National American Miss taught me to love myself. Promoting that All-American girl ideal of a young woman who is true to herself and devoted to changing lives is what set the passion in my heart on fire for this organization.
Through high school I struggled for years with negative body-image and constantly comparing myself to others, but I now know that being an inspirational person does not require you to be a size two. Serving others does not require you to look like that ideal "pageant girl."
I have never felt more prepared for a pageant than I am for nationals this Thanksgiving, and that is not just because I have been practicing for months already. It's because I love who I am, and I am proud to promote myself to anyone who will listen because I know my passions and I am dedicated to showing girls that self-love is the best love one can possess. With my platform with the American Heart Association, I have adopted the ideas of living a heart-healthy lifestyle and being good to the body you are blessed with, and that a healthy lifestyle is what leads to a positive body-image.
I may be a size 8, but I am a proud size 8. And through the past ten years of everlasting friendship, lifelong communication skills, and reassuring self-confidence, I am so honored to be able to represent a system that made me who I am today.
I began as an anxious seven year old in 2004. Mom and I essentially had no idea what we were walking into, but after placing in top ten my first year and being in absolute awe of the state and national queens I met, I was hooked.
The next few years, I would repeatedly do my personal introduction as a daily ritual and practice like a good little pageant girl. I moved up to fourth runner up the next year and first runner up the next. Once I moved into the Preteen division as a ten year old, I made top ten as one of the youngest in my division (with my precious blonde boyfriend of the time in the audience--I felt like hot stuff, let me tell you).
NAM AL 2007 state pageant: the annual formal pose
In 2008, I remember working harder than ever before. I focused on interview more than ever and always strived to make the judges laugh. My dress was from a local consignment shop by my house, and it was the first time I'd ever worn white. Here began my addiction to white dresses: 2008 was my first year to capture a state title, and my crowning moment was the definition of the "ugly cry" face.
Okay... yeah... we've come a long way since '08...
As we trekked off to Hollywood for the national pageant, I never knew that I would meet two girls I would call my best friends for years afterward. Of course, being from Alabama, my next door state neighbor of Georgia became my southern accomplice. Victoria and I have befriended each other's friends at home and have remained close for nearly six years along with our cross-country San Diego beauty queen Tierra. As the South California representative, Tierra won the national title of National American Miss Preteen after placing first runner up twice before.
Friends who do pageants together (and are weird together)...
stay together.
These two girls are prime examples of the beauty of pageant friendship. No matter how far they lived, we made Christmas visits whenever possible and are still so close to this day (Tierra and I actually planned to be college roommates if I had gone to NYU, and she is currently taking on New York City as an aspiring, and sure to be successful, journalist).
NAM AL 2010 state pageant: oh, those lovely opening numbers poses!
After crowning my successor in 2009, I was back to competing for my state title. I had always wondered why girls who won their state title once would come back again, and some may think it's another attempt to win the national title. That is, of course, very true. A NAM national title is a dream of most girls', but it goes so much farther than that. I kept on because the experience is intoxicating. Being on stage is one of the most indescribable feelings, and I can only begin to describe all that I've learned in the past ten years.The next three years, I competed for my state title in the Jr. Teen division, placing in top ten, second runner up, and then fourth runner up. As discouraging as it was to place lower that final year, I did not consider "retiring" because of that discouragement. I was approaching college preparation years and felt that I needed to focus my full attention on my future. And then, after considering myself "retired from pageantry" during that next year, the craziest thing that has ever happened to me occurred at the 2014 state pageant.
I originally went to help some younger girls who my mom and I had prepared (you would not believe how many girls we have gotten into NAM--we are walking billboards for the organization). The first night we arrived, mom leaned over to me and said, "So... why don't you just compete?" And so, long story short, we entered the next morning and had a friend bring down an old gown, interview dress and shoes, and I was all of a sudden out of retirement and back at it again! I wrote my introduction the night before, went over my walk that was basically muscle memory from so many times before, and on June 9, 2014, I was crowned the National American Miss Alabama Teen 2014.
I often wish I could relive that crowning moment on stage because the shock made it all such a blur. I have never felt so confident that God put me here with such strange circumstances I was crowned in. For nine years, I had worked for months in advance for that one summer weekend, and then I won with no stressful preparation and simply having fun and being myself .
Then, a few weeks later, I received a selfie from Victoria with her new Georgia Teen crown and sash! Victoria and I are now preparing to embark on NAM Nationals take two and cannot wait to reunite with the other third of our friendship when Tierra flies from New York to the national pageant as well. This, my friends, is what fate looks like.
I suppose I could say that a lot happened in my time of retirement in terms of self-discovery, but I know for a fact that National American Miss shaped me into the young woman I am today. I have learned the communication skills that undoubtedly gave me success in my Montevallo interview and now has me a free college education. I am in love with public speaking and take every chance I have to tell others my story and encourage them to take part in the amazing pageant system that changed my life for the better. Most importantly, I believe, National American Miss taught me to love myself. Promoting that All-American girl ideal of a young woman who is true to herself and devoted to changing lives is what set the passion in my heart on fire for this organization.
Through high school I struggled for years with negative body-image and constantly comparing myself to others, but I now know that being an inspirational person does not require you to be a size two. Serving others does not require you to look like that ideal "pageant girl."
I have never felt more prepared for a pageant than I am for nationals this Thanksgiving, and that is not just because I have been practicing for months already. It's because I love who I am, and I am proud to promote myself to anyone who will listen because I know my passions and I am dedicated to showing girls that self-love is the best love one can possess. With my platform with the American Heart Association, I have adopted the ideas of living a heart-healthy lifestyle and being good to the body you are blessed with, and that a healthy lifestyle is what leads to a positive body-image.
Sept. 2014 Promoting heart-healthy lifestyle and positive
body-image with the American Heart Association
Dropping my Nick Saban portrait at Alabama's athletic facility for a signature;
I'll be auctioning it off soon for AHA!
Sunday, September 14, 2014
NAM: changing lives and creating miss americas
To the number of people who are talking down on the newly crowned Miss America, Kira Kazantsev, for her talent with the "cup song," I just want to talk about a few points of pageantry.
I, too, was rather shocked at a Miss America contestant performing a talent that incorporated such a silly move from the much-loved film Pitch Perfect. Being from Alabama, I was pulling for Caitlin Brunell, but I soon heard that New York and Virginia, the top two contestants, were formerly a part of the National American Miss system that I am so proud to be a part of now. It is indescribably inspirational to see women exceed in the world's most prestigious pageant system after growing in the system I call home today.
For those of you thinking negatively of Kira for her quirky choice of talent, remember what pageantry is about. Remember how beautiful her voice was despite her modernized addition. The talent portion of competition is only 20% of each contestant's overall score, and the girl has a phenomenal voice. That is a talent just as any other.
But more than that, I saw the speaking skill and brains in Kira in her onstage question. Even after competing in pageants for over fourteen years now, I sat and thought, I would have had no idea how to answer a question about how women in the Senate should stand tall over men and make changes that matter to women. And her answer blew me away! She not only had an educated and sincere answer, but she spoke with poise and calmness even in knowing that she only had twenty seconds to give the perfect answer.
A pageant interview is what takes the crown, and seeing only a fraction of her brains and communication skills, I can only imagine how quickly she captured the judges' hearts in a ten-minute interview. I know first hand of the pressure in an interview room and knowing in the back of your mind that you have this small time slot to convince a few strangers that you are the best potential titleholder. You have to be smart and quick-witted and elegant in your speech, and that is what pageantry is all about to me. It is being a woman who can speak and connect with people on a level that allows them to see her greatness, even if there are only a couple of minutes to do so.
National American Miss, I have no doubt, grew Kira into a woman perfectly suitable to represent our country with the Miss America crown, because I know what I have learned from it on my own terms. NAM girls are world-chagners who inspire people every single day. They are the all-American girls who are unique and special, and they are dedicated to serving the world and its people. I am honored to be a part of such an organization, and Kira has only created more motivation and given stronger inspiration to NAM girls and other young women to go out and chase their dreams.
I, too, was rather shocked at a Miss America contestant performing a talent that incorporated such a silly move from the much-loved film Pitch Perfect. Being from Alabama, I was pulling for Caitlin Brunell, but I soon heard that New York and Virginia, the top two contestants, were formerly a part of the National American Miss system that I am so proud to be a part of now. It is indescribably inspirational to see women exceed in the world's most prestigious pageant system after growing in the system I call home today.
For those of you thinking negatively of Kira for her quirky choice of talent, remember what pageantry is about. Remember how beautiful her voice was despite her modernized addition. The talent portion of competition is only 20% of each contestant's overall score, and the girl has a phenomenal voice. That is a talent just as any other.
But more than that, I saw the speaking skill and brains in Kira in her onstage question. Even after competing in pageants for over fourteen years now, I sat and thought, I would have had no idea how to answer a question about how women in the Senate should stand tall over men and make changes that matter to women. And her answer blew me away! She not only had an educated and sincere answer, but she spoke with poise and calmness even in knowing that she only had twenty seconds to give the perfect answer.
A pageant interview is what takes the crown, and seeing only a fraction of her brains and communication skills, I can only imagine how quickly she captured the judges' hearts in a ten-minute interview. I know first hand of the pressure in an interview room and knowing in the back of your mind that you have this small time slot to convince a few strangers that you are the best potential titleholder. You have to be smart and quick-witted and elegant in your speech, and that is what pageantry is all about to me. It is being a woman who can speak and connect with people on a level that allows them to see her greatness, even if there are only a couple of minutes to do so.
National American Miss, I have no doubt, grew Kira into a woman perfectly suitable to represent our country with the Miss America crown, because I know what I have learned from it on my own terms. NAM girls are world-chagners who inspire people every single day. They are the all-American girls who are unique and special, and they are dedicated to serving the world and its people. I am honored to be a part of such an organization, and Kira has only created more motivation and given stronger inspiration to NAM girls and other young women to go out and chase their dreams.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
the arrogantly educated atheist
Most, if not all, of my posts about my college experience so far have been nothing but positive, and it is my sincere desire to keep it that way. As I further my experience as a writer, however, there are certain bothers that I experience and feel compelled to share with the world. Because, obviously, writers expect the entirely of the world to care what they have to rant about.
As I wrote in my former post, college has distilled in me an intense enthusiasm for learning. I could complain about my hours of homework and how I would rather watch Netflix in my pajamas than read a four hundred page poem in which I "don't really have to know what is going on, but should simply absorb the beauty of the language" (those liberal arts writing electives are pretty deep, eh?). But I am truly enjoying myself. And I actually use more of my current leisure time to read books of my own choosing than ever before.
This week I experienced something new that has really pulled at me on the inside. It's something I should have expected at a liberal arts school, and likely something I should overlook in the matter of being a good student and learning what I am taught on my own terms.
Religion is not taught as a belief system, but as a historical story nothing unlike war and socialization. A culture's worshiping of God is portrayed as a simple-minded thought in humanity, and not as what has created history in and of itself. Maybe it's just me and the fact that when I am taught about faith, I am taught in a church and learn the stories and beliefs that, in my mind, are true and worthy of living by. Religion to me is not a minute aspect of life, and as it has been for any religious peoples of the earth, it is something that consumes one's lifestyle because that is what we live for and is the reason we are here in the first place.
I am looked down upon by many for being a Christian and expressing my Christian views in the things I'm learning. It seems like to not believe is considered more educated because you have figured out how the universe and life was created scientifically, and that it is silly and childish to think that any majestic phenomenon of this "higher power" could have actually happened. As Christians, we indirectly incorporate Godly beliefs into everyday knowledge just as an atheist would incorporate his "realistic and practical" views into everything he experiences. But how is it fair that believing in Christ and a heavenly afterlife makes me less educated than you? How is it deemed respectable for you to think I'm ignorant just because you can study religion in a completely objectified manner and I cannot because I believe in a specific one? The Bible is history, and so is the Torah and philosophical books of nearly every other belief system.
We are looked down upon for believing in what they see as a magical supreme being, but how are they to know that it is anything short of real?
As I wrote in my former post, college has distilled in me an intense enthusiasm for learning. I could complain about my hours of homework and how I would rather watch Netflix in my pajamas than read a four hundred page poem in which I "don't really have to know what is going on, but should simply absorb the beauty of the language" (those liberal arts writing electives are pretty deep, eh?). But I am truly enjoying myself. And I actually use more of my current leisure time to read books of my own choosing than ever before.
This week I experienced something new that has really pulled at me on the inside. It's something I should have expected at a liberal arts school, and likely something I should overlook in the matter of being a good student and learning what I am taught on my own terms.
Religion is not taught as a belief system, but as a historical story nothing unlike war and socialization. A culture's worshiping of God is portrayed as a simple-minded thought in humanity, and not as what has created history in and of itself. Maybe it's just me and the fact that when I am taught about faith, I am taught in a church and learn the stories and beliefs that, in my mind, are true and worthy of living by. Religion to me is not a minute aspect of life, and as it has been for any religious peoples of the earth, it is something that consumes one's lifestyle because that is what we live for and is the reason we are here in the first place.
I am looked down upon by many for being a Christian and expressing my Christian views in the things I'm learning. It seems like to not believe is considered more educated because you have figured out how the universe and life was created scientifically, and that it is silly and childish to think that any majestic phenomenon of this "higher power" could have actually happened. As Christians, we indirectly incorporate Godly beliefs into everyday knowledge just as an atheist would incorporate his "realistic and practical" views into everything he experiences. But how is it fair that believing in Christ and a heavenly afterlife makes me less educated than you? How is it deemed respectable for you to think I'm ignorant just because you can study religion in a completely objectified manner and I cannot because I believe in a specific one? The Bible is history, and so is the Torah and philosophical books of nearly every other belief system.
We are looked down upon for believing in what they see as a magical supreme being, but how are they to know that it is anything short of real?
Friday, September 5, 2014
on learning and absorbing and scholarly mindsets
Yes, I know I'm a freshman. Yes, I know, not only am I a freshman, I am only a two-week-old freshman. And yes, I know I'm still absolutely ignorant about most things college-related.
But if there is one thing I have realized in the past two weeks here at the University of Montevallo, it is that learning is one of the most fantastic experiences I have ever come across. College, to me, is not simply a place to earn a sheet of paper that will give me a one-up on someone applying for a job with only a high school diploma. It is not a place to meet my future husband (even if it happens coincidentally) and get my MRS degree (which will not happen under any circumstances).
College is a place of exposure. It is a campus of not only beautifully sculpted buildings, but of professors who are experts of their practice and want to extend their knowledge and experiences to us students. My history teacher, Dr. Barone, talks a lot about becoming a scholar. He tells about the process of reading book after book and listening to lecture after lecture and putting together information in one's mind on its own terms to connect all of the information.
I can't even describe the excitement of having that sense of enlightenment when you know exactly what a professor is talking about and you can raise your hand in mention of something you read earlier that connects in some odd way to the current subject. Don't get me wrong, raising my hand for the first time made me feel more than simply exposed. My voice faltered a few times in my fifty-person sociology class while mentioning a reading about education reform. But the praise I received from my professor made up for any naked feeling I previously experienced (not to mention it was the professor I was a little terrified of on the first day).
My mind wandered a bit today in Dr. Barone's History of World Civilizations class, and I started thinking about my future education. What am I going to major in? Am I going to continue onto graduate school after my four years at Montevallo? And if I do, where will I go? Will I go to a fashion school to study what will pertain to my future career? Or will I learn to love this core education program and idea of becoming a scholar so much that I apply to an Ivy League grad school and continue what I'm enjoying so much at this moment? Will I actually fulfill my high school dream of Columbia University and study philosophy or journalism or media or public relations?
I have had this plan for the past couple of years to finish my undergrad and immediately land a job at a top fashion publication to begin working my way up to editor. I imagined myself delving into the fashion and journalism courses and getting the core studies out of the way as soon as I could to begin learning about what I will do for the rest of my life. I suppose that was before I realized my love for learning. I can't express to you guys how refreshing it is to know that I have all the time in the world to learn more and more and never stop learning! To know that I can take any path in life that I desire and make success out of it because I am dedicated and enthusiastic and passionate about living. If I can inspire any of you young people to realize anything in your coming years, I can only hope that it will be to dedicate yourself to learning in college. I know how insignificant it seems to learn the material in high school that you will forget the week after the test, but the things you learn in college, the brilliance of the professors, the lessons they teach you through their material, allow it to sink into your mind and resonate. Learn from the mistakes and successes that are pictured in history. People watch and use the theories you are taught in sociology to figure different humans out. Apply the environmental conservation ideas to your personal life and then travel the entire world to experience lives different from your own. Take the weird elective class that may not apply to your major but seems deeply fascinating because that is the class that will change your life. Take hard classes. Challenge your minds, I beg of you, because that is what will inspire you to want to change your life and other peoples' lives and the entire world and what could possibly change your entire mindset on what you want to do forever.
Please know that it is okay to not have your life figured out at 20 years old. This is not the time to have your life planned out; it is the time to absorb the knowledge that you can to make those life-altering decisions before you are forced to make them.
I tell you here and now that there is nothing more intimidating than being surrounded by a bunch of people who are ten times smarter than you. But there is nothing like the motivation to someday grow to outdo them.
But if there is one thing I have realized in the past two weeks here at the University of Montevallo, it is that learning is one of the most fantastic experiences I have ever come across. College, to me, is not simply a place to earn a sheet of paper that will give me a one-up on someone applying for a job with only a high school diploma. It is not a place to meet my future husband (even if it happens coincidentally) and get my MRS degree (which will not happen under any circumstances).
College is a place of exposure. It is a campus of not only beautifully sculpted buildings, but of professors who are experts of their practice and want to extend their knowledge and experiences to us students. My history teacher, Dr. Barone, talks a lot about becoming a scholar. He tells about the process of reading book after book and listening to lecture after lecture and putting together information in one's mind on its own terms to connect all of the information.
I can't even describe the excitement of having that sense of enlightenment when you know exactly what a professor is talking about and you can raise your hand in mention of something you read earlier that connects in some odd way to the current subject. Don't get me wrong, raising my hand for the first time made me feel more than simply exposed. My voice faltered a few times in my fifty-person sociology class while mentioning a reading about education reform. But the praise I received from my professor made up for any naked feeling I previously experienced (not to mention it was the professor I was a little terrified of on the first day).
My mind wandered a bit today in Dr. Barone's History of World Civilizations class, and I started thinking about my future education. What am I going to major in? Am I going to continue onto graduate school after my four years at Montevallo? And if I do, where will I go? Will I go to a fashion school to study what will pertain to my future career? Or will I learn to love this core education program and idea of becoming a scholar so much that I apply to an Ivy League grad school and continue what I'm enjoying so much at this moment? Will I actually fulfill my high school dream of Columbia University and study philosophy or journalism or media or public relations?
I have had this plan for the past couple of years to finish my undergrad and immediately land a job at a top fashion publication to begin working my way up to editor. I imagined myself delving into the fashion and journalism courses and getting the core studies out of the way as soon as I could to begin learning about what I will do for the rest of my life. I suppose that was before I realized my love for learning. I can't express to you guys how refreshing it is to know that I have all the time in the world to learn more and more and never stop learning! To know that I can take any path in life that I desire and make success out of it because I am dedicated and enthusiastic and passionate about living. If I can inspire any of you young people to realize anything in your coming years, I can only hope that it will be to dedicate yourself to learning in college. I know how insignificant it seems to learn the material in high school that you will forget the week after the test, but the things you learn in college, the brilliance of the professors, the lessons they teach you through their material, allow it to sink into your mind and resonate. Learn from the mistakes and successes that are pictured in history. People watch and use the theories you are taught in sociology to figure different humans out. Apply the environmental conservation ideas to your personal life and then travel the entire world to experience lives different from your own. Take the weird elective class that may not apply to your major but seems deeply fascinating because that is the class that will change your life. Take hard classes. Challenge your minds, I beg of you, because that is what will inspire you to want to change your life and other peoples' lives and the entire world and what could possibly change your entire mindset on what you want to do forever.
Please know that it is okay to not have your life figured out at 20 years old. This is not the time to have your life planned out; it is the time to absorb the knowledge that you can to make those life-altering decisions before you are forced to make them.
I tell you here and now that there is nothing more intimidating than being surrounded by a bunch of people who are ten times smarter than you. But there is nothing like the motivation to someday grow to outdo them.
Friday, August 29, 2014
interconnecting the technology geeks and the book worms: the new proactive citizen
One of my favorite aspects of college, just in my first week, has been watching everything I learn connect.
It's obviously a coincidence that the book I'm reading outside of class is correlating so well with everything my Sociology professor teaches us, but to be completely honest, it makes me feel a little brilliant.
In my first two Sociology 101 classes, I figured it would be an interesting enough class, but not anything life-changing. Our out-of-class readings, however, are pushing me to believe that, generally speaking, sociology is no subject to brush off our shoulders. We are currently talking about education reform, a subject I was not too familiar with until my acquaintance with David Brooks's The Social Animal. The novel, currently telling of the life of a young woman named Erica, goes through her brain processes as she demands acceptance into the elite Academy to save herself from her underdeveloped neighborhood, poorly run public school, and apathetic neighborhood friends. In the Academy, she learns the essential non-cognitive skills of self-discipline, self-driven determination, and self-focused ambition. The new environment of structured learning and specific rules gave her an entirely new mindset of motivational drive.
Next week's readings for Sociology ironically expanded on the points I had just read about in the novel I am so enjoying (even if it is taking me a while to finish--I'm a busy kid these days). The first excerpt on the importance of non-cognitive skills (notice I used that term a moment ago... you caught me, I didn't even know what it meant until today), explained how essential dependability, persistence, and perseverance (aforementioned "non-cognitive skills") are in a child's potential success. The studies showed that the kid with a high IQ and low self-discipline had no more success than the one beside him with a relatively lower IQ and strong nature of dependability and consistence.
In the next study, one I could relate to on a more personal level, I read about how STEM fields (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) intertwined with humanities and social sciences are what create the most proactive citizen in today's world. Okay, maybe that's obvious. When we look at an individual's undergraduate education, however, we see an intense concentration on the study of the student's specifically desired career field. While this may be beneficial, I don't think the world necessarily needs "science people" or "technology people" or "english people" or "history people." We need people who are incredibly well rounded-- those whom have excelled in the liberal arts education and can succeed in all aspects of our modern world. It is, of course, important to have those who will eventually make something twice as impressive as the iPhone, something I never could have even imagined as a child, and experts to uncover more of the ancient world and allow us deeper into the lives of our earliest ancestors. I don't mean to be ambiguous here, for both types of people are a necessity in the scholarly world. But it makes me think twice about my current major.
Though I'm technically considered undeclared, I plan to create my own major in the Interdisciplinary Studies program to combine a fashion, journalism, and possibly mass media major into one. These sociologists have made me reconsider. I have always said I want to go to college to further my education, and not to learn how to do my job. I suppose a degree in fashion journalism is simply the first thing I could think of in terms of a major as I hope to become the next editor of American Vogue, but now I feel like I have a lot of big decisions to make as the person I aspire to be and as a citizen of the world.
The concept of knowing one's place in society and how the surrounding world effects his life is the idea of "sociological imagination." I will not go into detail about this simply because I was incredibly bored by it; but I loved making this connection to my first Sociology reading on the sociological imagination, because I thought the idea was rather stupid upon first glance. Once I connected it to everything else I had learned and had read in The Social Animal, I got embarrassingly excited. Everything was making sense! I'm some kind of sociological genius because I actually get it! So that was my "ah-ha" moment of my first week in college.
Back to the case of education reform, we watched a video yesterday in Soc. about the faults in the modern day education. There is no blame placed on any teacher or administrator, for our methods of assessment and measured learning seem to be imbedded in the gene pool of human kind. Our minds, however, do not learn by memorizing facts out of a text book. We do not succeed father in life because of how fast we can take a standardized test. We forget ninety percent of everything we learn for a test within a week after the test is given. Humans learn the most in groups, and we absorb information that we care about and see as important in our lives. This idea led to the speaker making a (rather hasty, in my opinion) accusation that ADHD is virtually a myth that doctors shove into parents' heads to make them think their children will make better grades, therefore becoming more successful in life, if they take a daily pill. I know many people who have been diagnosed with ADHD, most of them in dire need of something to keep them calmed down in class, but if teachers could find ways to make our education system look more applicable to life in the minds of adolescents, maybe students could pay attention without a chemical in their brain sedating them into a state of having to focus.
This entire post is scientific and weird and not at all what I am usually interested in, but maybe this is all part of my process of becoming a well-rounded student. I hope so.
Moral of the story, read books and pay attention and do your homework-- you'll realize that everything makes sense once you make an effort to make sense of it.
Next week's readings for Sociology ironically expanded on the points I had just read about in the novel I am so enjoying (even if it is taking me a while to finish--I'm a busy kid these days). The first excerpt on the importance of non-cognitive skills (notice I used that term a moment ago... you caught me, I didn't even know what it meant until today), explained how essential dependability, persistence, and perseverance (aforementioned "non-cognitive skills") are in a child's potential success. The studies showed that the kid with a high IQ and low self-discipline had no more success than the one beside him with a relatively lower IQ and strong nature of dependability and consistence.
In the next study, one I could relate to on a more personal level, I read about how STEM fields (science, technology, engineering and mathematics) intertwined with humanities and social sciences are what create the most proactive citizen in today's world. Okay, maybe that's obvious. When we look at an individual's undergraduate education, however, we see an intense concentration on the study of the student's specifically desired career field. While this may be beneficial, I don't think the world necessarily needs "science people" or "technology people" or "english people" or "history people." We need people who are incredibly well rounded-- those whom have excelled in the liberal arts education and can succeed in all aspects of our modern world. It is, of course, important to have those who will eventually make something twice as impressive as the iPhone, something I never could have even imagined as a child, and experts to uncover more of the ancient world and allow us deeper into the lives of our earliest ancestors. I don't mean to be ambiguous here, for both types of people are a necessity in the scholarly world. But it makes me think twice about my current major.
Though I'm technically considered undeclared, I plan to create my own major in the Interdisciplinary Studies program to combine a fashion, journalism, and possibly mass media major into one. These sociologists have made me reconsider. I have always said I want to go to college to further my education, and not to learn how to do my job. I suppose a degree in fashion journalism is simply the first thing I could think of in terms of a major as I hope to become the next editor of American Vogue, but now I feel like I have a lot of big decisions to make as the person I aspire to be and as a citizen of the world.
The concept of knowing one's place in society and how the surrounding world effects his life is the idea of "sociological imagination." I will not go into detail about this simply because I was incredibly bored by it; but I loved making this connection to my first Sociology reading on the sociological imagination, because I thought the idea was rather stupid upon first glance. Once I connected it to everything else I had learned and had read in The Social Animal, I got embarrassingly excited. Everything was making sense! I'm some kind of sociological genius because I actually get it! So that was my "ah-ha" moment of my first week in college.
Back to the case of education reform, we watched a video yesterday in Soc. about the faults in the modern day education. There is no blame placed on any teacher or administrator, for our methods of assessment and measured learning seem to be imbedded in the gene pool of human kind. Our minds, however, do not learn by memorizing facts out of a text book. We do not succeed father in life because of how fast we can take a standardized test. We forget ninety percent of everything we learn for a test within a week after the test is given. Humans learn the most in groups, and we absorb information that we care about and see as important in our lives. This idea led to the speaker making a (rather hasty, in my opinion) accusation that ADHD is virtually a myth that doctors shove into parents' heads to make them think their children will make better grades, therefore becoming more successful in life, if they take a daily pill. I know many people who have been diagnosed with ADHD, most of them in dire need of something to keep them calmed down in class, but if teachers could find ways to make our education system look more applicable to life in the minds of adolescents, maybe students could pay attention without a chemical in their brain sedating them into a state of having to focus.
This entire post is scientific and weird and not at all what I am usually interested in, but maybe this is all part of my process of becoming a well-rounded student. I hope so.
Moral of the story, read books and pay attention and do your homework-- you'll realize that everything makes sense once you make an effort to make sense of it.
Monday, August 25, 2014
a balancing act
I thought I'd do a little reflecting after my first day of college classes. The first time Mom wasn't taking a million pictures of me before walking into the unknown of a new year. This morning at 9:45, I trotted out, coffee and detailed planner in hand, all on my own.
I won't bore you with the details of my dry-humored history professor or the trend analysis project I can't wait to start on in Fashion Fundamentals, but I can take pride in the fact that I successfully made it through a taste of what this year will be like. And though I am a little nervous about my biggest class of nearly fifty people in Sociology tomorrow morning, I suppose that will be compensating for the Travel Writing honors course consisting of only five people. Including the professor.
As I walked down the red brick sidewalks at Montevallo this morning, and as I listened to each new nervous freshman tell about themselves during roll call, I was astounded by the diversity surrounding me. I am at one of the smallest colleges I have ever heard of in one of the smallest towns I have ever heard of, and I still get the pleasure of experiencing so many different mindsets and backgrounds from everyone I meet.
Working in the Dean's office in the College of Education, I come into contact with hundreds of aspiring teachers, the leaders of our upcoming generations and influencers of youth as we know it. It's indescribably refreshing to be surrounded by thousands of people pursuing their passions--and so so many different passions to pursue!
This vision and appreciation of diversity have led me to think about fellowship. My former post was about the importance of solitude, and as crucial as it is for us to find bliss in isolation, my mindset as taken an entire shift in the past couple of days. Solitude is our way to draw into ourselves and connect everything back to God, relaxing our state of mind, but fellowship is something that excites every aspect of ourselves. Interrelationships create unbreakable bonds in our brains, and delve deeper into our souls and emotions than any experience on earth. Though we find an ever-important rest in solitude, fellowship is what makes life worth living. And I think that's why falling in love seems to be such a terrifying and warming and heart wrenching experience--it is like the ecstasy of synaptic junction connections. It sets off fireworks behind our eyes and electrifies the nerves in our fingertips; it makes a beating drum out of our hearts and intrudes the unconscious state causing us to dream about it, preventing us from its escape with no exceptions.
We have all heard that the Bible, the Word of God, the entire being of Jesus Christ, and God Himself, are all made of love. We know that faith, hope and love remain, but the greatest of these is love. I will not go back on what I said about the benefits and salvation in alone-time, but there is something far bigger found in the state of sharing life with other souls.
Solitude is important, but the Bible is built on love, and love is built on fellowship.
It's just a balancing act.
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the other."
I won't bore you with the details of my dry-humored history professor or the trend analysis project I can't wait to start on in Fashion Fundamentals, but I can take pride in the fact that I successfully made it through a taste of what this year will be like. And though I am a little nervous about my biggest class of nearly fifty people in Sociology tomorrow morning, I suppose that will be compensating for the Travel Writing honors course consisting of only five people. Including the professor.
As I walked down the red brick sidewalks at Montevallo this morning, and as I listened to each new nervous freshman tell about themselves during roll call, I was astounded by the diversity surrounding me. I am at one of the smallest colleges I have ever heard of in one of the smallest towns I have ever heard of, and I still get the pleasure of experiencing so many different mindsets and backgrounds from everyone I meet.
Working in the Dean's office in the College of Education, I come into contact with hundreds of aspiring teachers, the leaders of our upcoming generations and influencers of youth as we know it. It's indescribably refreshing to be surrounded by thousands of people pursuing their passions--and so so many different passions to pursue!
This vision and appreciation of diversity have led me to think about fellowship. My former post was about the importance of solitude, and as crucial as it is for us to find bliss in isolation, my mindset as taken an entire shift in the past couple of days. Solitude is our way to draw into ourselves and connect everything back to God, relaxing our state of mind, but fellowship is something that excites every aspect of ourselves. Interrelationships create unbreakable bonds in our brains, and delve deeper into our souls and emotions than any experience on earth. Though we find an ever-important rest in solitude, fellowship is what makes life worth living. And I think that's why falling in love seems to be such a terrifying and warming and heart wrenching experience--it is like the ecstasy of synaptic junction connections. It sets off fireworks behind our eyes and electrifies the nerves in our fingertips; it makes a beating drum out of our hearts and intrudes the unconscious state causing us to dream about it, preventing us from its escape with no exceptions.
We have all heard that the Bible, the Word of God, the entire being of Jesus Christ, and God Himself, are all made of love. We know that faith, hope and love remain, but the greatest of these is love. I will not go back on what I said about the benefits and salvation in alone-time, but there is something far bigger found in the state of sharing life with other souls.
Solitude is important, but the Bible is built on love, and love is built on fellowship.
It's just a balancing act.
"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the other."
Proverbs 27:17
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