Maybe it's just me reliving everything that has happened in the past year (both good and bad) in my head, but quite honestly, I almost envy all of you new seniors.
And it's mostly the little things. Football games, pep rallies, football breakfasts and painting the run-through signs as a cheerleader, and the many times I wondered what it would be like to be in the crowd instead of in front of it. Staying up late to finish my AP Lit year-long paper that I was sure would be the end of me, and listening to my best friends cry over the phone about it. Taking my final calculus test. Sitting in French III for the final time with a teacher who thought it more important to teach us about the world than the information in a textbook (something I once complained about, but now am appreciating when I recognize so much in the real world that I learned in her class). Meeting a teacher who cares more about her students' sanity and well being than their grade on a paper that was giving them insomnia. And maybe even falling in love for the first time.
But then, once we experienced all of that fully, choosing our futures. College visits. Scholarship applications. Late nights of sobbing on our bedroom floors with Dad rubbing our backs because we have no idea whom or what we are supposed to be. Screaming into our Mom's chests because maybe we didn't get enough scholarship money for our dream school. This is all part of the experience, and as awful as some parts may seem at that moment, you will soon sit where I am now and look back at it with a smile. And smile especially with a thankfulness to the people who encouraged you when you thought in the back of your mind that you would rather drop out of school than deal with it any longer.
I'm still seventeen years old until August 23, so maybe I don't have the wisdom to tell you how to live this coming year, but I know how it feels for things not to go at all how I had planned. And I am completely at peace with it now. Soon, it will be August 7, 2015 and you will all be saying goodbye to some of the people who changed your life, and preparing yourself to be a real-life grown up. It's terrifying and its exciting and it overwhelms you with anxiety and childlike fear. But you're going to have "finally made it," and I promise on this day next year you will almost wish you could do it all again.
Senior year was the greatest year of my life so far, and it would be hard to say no to living it all over again if I had the chance. It is, however, your turn. So I beg you to cherish every moment and love the time with your parents and laugh in the face of difficulty and hug your friends every chance you get and take your learning seriously and don't stay so caught up on college because it will come together however it decides to. Don't think of this as your last year having to listen to your parents or your last year of doing high school busy work; this is your last year of dependency, your last year of Mom doing your laundry, your last year of irresponsibility before adulthood begins to race toward you much faster than you would like.
Don't wish it away. It won't be here very long.
Life is all a memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.
Tennessee Williams
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